Sat-Navs are incredibly useful things… most of the time.

Yesterday I went to Leeds. I had never been there before, so I borrowed a Sat-Nav from my friend. He set it all up for me with the address that I wanted and showed me the basic controls. It was the first time that I’d used one, but I was reasonably confident that I would be okay.

I set off on my journey and everything was going fine. Every now and then, a voice similar to that of Roger Moore in ‘The Saint’ would tell me which way to go.

But then I got to Leeds. Just as I stopped at the first complicated-looking junction in the city, the Sat-Nav decided to update itself. It was only inactive for a few seconds, but that was long enough for me to take two wrong turns. After that it became a nightmare. Every time that I went wrong it would take a moment to re-map my route. And every time it did this… I took another wrong turn.

I don’t quite know how, but I finally reached my destination. On the way back, I decided, I would try and drive ever slower around the city streets.

That was a good idea except I ended up having to escape from Leeds city centre without the Sat-Nav’s help. The problem was that I had left the car in an underground car park and there was no satellite signal at all!

By the time that I was back on the outskirts of Leeds, Simon Templar’s suave voice had returned. He guided me all the way back home, except that I went against his advice half a mile from my house. With Simon urging me to, ‘Turn around. Turn around’, I got out of the car and walked to a shop that sold road atlases.

Once bitten…