Every time I see a girl wearing super-tight clothes I think Yes it’s alright, but let’s not get silly. And you can guess what happens next. Yes, usually, before I can draw my next breath, I see someone else who makes it look silly. Now, I realize it’s none of my business and this blog post could make me look like an interfering cow, but to hell with it: we have to draw the line girls! We can’t just keep wearing tight stuff willy nilly. We need some censorship here, and since there are no laws banning certain people from wearing really tight things, we will need to do this ourselves! Nowadays, people in tight stuff in general are as common as sensitive skin moisturizer advertisements when they first came out!

Now I should admit it. I have some tight jeans. I wear them sometimes, but not often, and I quite like the way they feel (apart from after a long walk, when they just hurt: the insides of my thighs resembling under-cooked chicken). But that’s not what I am talking about. No. The people who upset me are those women who wear tight jeans and get stuck in them. I repeat: stuck in them. On the train last week this was the situation. A middle-aged woman had climbed on to the train wearing tight jeans, and couldn’t actually get off again. The train had been stopped! She was sitting there trapped in her own super-tight trousers!

That’s why we need censorship–Need I say more?